One of the most talked about aspects of Ironman or triathlon training is the mental side of the coin. They say you find your real character during an Ironman race or have a chance to visit all those places in your head that don't always have a chance to be seen in everyday life. You know who you are when you finish an Ironman. Or any triathlon for that matter. You wealth and possessions can be taken away from you at any time, but your achievements can not. So when a person decides to become a triathlete, they are also making a decision to find out who they really are, the core of their being. You can run, (and you will...a lot!), but you can't escape coming to grips with who you want to become and who you already are in your life.

I think over the past years of training, it's been a long and difficult task for me to define who I am and who I want to become. In the past few weeks, I've had one of those moments. The one where you are firmly grounded in your identity and fully understand that no situation, person or experience can strip away everything you've done to be who you are, standing right here and now. For the first time, I'm not training because of what someone may or may not think of me. And I have figured out that being around others that don't have the same lifestyle, does not dictate that I follow that same path. I am defining myself as a triathlete because I truly enjoy the training and the people. I was in Colorado over the New Year and through some discussions came to the conclusion that even without a pending Ironman or triathlon, I'd still be out there riding/running and swimming. Even at those extreme distances because it gives so much back to me. I do it because it makes me feel amazing about myself. I am at my best as a person when I'm keeping myself healthy. My mind is clear and focused, my body feels capable of anything and my emotions are in check. I don't question anything about myself or values/beliefs when I'm training. I've gone down the different paths of "why am I doing this?" and "who am I?" I've also ventured down the avenues of "what am I like when I stop training?"

Once you reach the place of content with yourself, your life, your work and your training, you can't escape a very positive and stable self image. When that self image is measured against your own self and independent of others, you have the base for becoming great. At this point, nothing can take your achievements and image away. It is who you are and how you live and your performance thrives in an environment of that nature. You are no longer competing for others or to beat others in races/training. You are there because you want to see how far you can go and at the end of the day, there is no greater satisfaction than to know you gave it your all and never faltered in that self belief.

Thinking back to my races in '01, I have tried to pinpoint what made each race successful or a disaster. Why did some races bottom out after starting out well and others were certain DNF's until something turned it all around. It was the mental aspect. When I showed up to a race physically prepared and mentally at ease, I performed at 110%. I remember before the Kona Half Ironman last year, I was eerily calm and confident before the race. Yet, my training hadn't been 100% leading up to it. The outcome was a personal victory. I was unshakable in my self image. And I knew at the end of the race, I would be happy with my performance because I never doubted or gave up on my goals. At another race, in San Jose, I had a different outcome. I was prepared physically, but was basing my performance on beating other people, on racing for other people and ended up very dissatisfied with the results (even though it was a PR by 12 minutes). I had failed to mentally prepare and get myself in the right mindset before I toed the swim start. What a difference it can make!

Like I mentioned earlier, I've reached a new level of self image, one that is very positive and unable to be erased. That seems to be a key for me right now. Knowing that I've reached this level and I don't ever have to deal with going back to where I was or came from, because the things I've done have been accomplished and are the new building blocks for the future. My being will interact with others and change along the way, but my core is established, finally. I am looking forward to the way this plays out in my race season. I am also looking forward to how this will play out with my clients. I believe that others can really feed off of the positive outlook of another person. I'm sure much of my progress is due to that which I've picked up from role models in sport, philosophy, health and fitness both mental and physical, family and friends. I hope to be that type of role model in my coaching to them. Take the time to reflect on your current self image and start to have those conversations with yourself about who you are and where you want to go. Those long rides, runs, and swims should give you ample time to visit those places in your mind that may or may not get the attention they deserve. No matter what direction those thoughts may take, know that the outcome can only be great in the end.