Great post!!!!

I am often asked by people why I don't compete in an Ironman and your post explains exactly why. If you truly want to race at the Ironman level the sacrifice it requires is almost beyond explanation, especially to people that do not understand the sport and I am not willing to make that sacrifice. Now if you just wanted to cross the finish line and time was not an issue then I think you could find a balance between training and real life but for true competitors there is NO balance, it is ALL training and everything else comes second.

I wish you the best at Kona and hope you reach or exceed ALL of your goals but most importantly I hope and pray that you are able to find that balance in your life between training and family because family is more important than anything else. From your post I can tell that you understand the importance of family and want it to be your top priority but you also hear the siren call of triathlon and she can be a very difficult mistress to shake!!!

Stay strong!!!

Great post and insights. This is why Ironman will be a once every five years experience for me right now (my kids are young, and I'm not willing to give up that much of their lives and experiences for that distance in this sport). I admire your commitment, not just to training and the sport but to instrospection and change. We will all be holding our breath as you take the plunge at Kailua Bay. I hope the day brings everything you hope and have trained for, and that you can take a much-deserved step back when it is all over.

Thank you all for your support, it means a GREAT deal to me.

Anton, you really raised an excellent point. There were many times when I was allowing what I do, triathlon, to define me as opposed to who I am. When we do things in our lives and have immediate success, we become drawn to the power of that image, an image propigated by those around us who, through their praise, feed the Id. That's the path of the Dark Side and to walk down it, forever will it rule your destiny.

We choose, and each choice builds/makes us who we are.

I can certainly relate to two IMs in a year. I did IMAZ and IMC this year with a family of 2 kids and wife. I know what you are talking about when it comes to commitment, time management and dedication. It's all about choices and sacrifice.

All the best Bryan for a great race. You earned it. .....God speed.

Ya, choices and balance.
My first year doing IM I was pretty wrapped up in it and was more rigid with training - didn't miss any sessions - sometimes to the exclusion of family things - not good.
This past year I was more relaxed - more flexible. I did miss some workouts - and I moved a lot of workouts around to better accommodate other more important things.
This year while training for IM - We moved, I built a stable - put in a corral for the horses - changed jobs - and on and on.
Through all of that I did not miss any of the kids events, x-country, track, tennis etc. Did all the family things. Good stuff.
And my training was better than before - I even PR'd by 65 minutes at IMWI.
Originally my wife agreed to every other year for an IM - after this year she said that if I train like I did this past year (meaning being flexible and keeping family as the priority) then she's all good with me doing an IM every year. :D
It is all workable. Choices and balance...

What a well written and introspective post. It makes me realized that my Ironman ruminations (I'm thinking of IM FL /08) are spot on in that I will train enough to finish on time but that's about it. That's a whole other effort than the one you are making and it's the right one for me.

Whatever you have sacrificed will be made up over time. You are young enough for that. It's sort of like a 28 year old making a big gamble with his 401K money and having the market go south. That experience isn't without pain but at that point in life you have plenty of time to recover. That's true with you, too. You've sort of robbed your wife of time (although I'm guessing she is your best cheerleader) and your job but you will make up for that when this is over.

For now, you have every right to enjoy this time of total commitment to something you really, really want. Your real challenge will be to balance your life after Kona and to resist the urge to continue to train at this level so that you can get faster and faster. I'm sure you'll work out whatever makes sense in the context of your life.

Best of luck.

You've gained insight, and I think that's one reason some people do endurance sports. You've clearly learned about yourself and the people you love...is that "the dark side" or the road to self-actualization?

Hey, hey, hey! Let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater here because we got confused about the game we're playing.

Firstly, congratulations Bryan on getting to the Show. Go, have fun in Kona. Bring back happy memories.

To everybody else, - less to Bryan who has been there now and seen the difference - there are TWO completely DIFFERENT things here. Let me spell them out:

ONE - doing an Ironman distance race - relatively a piece of cake, - you can do it on 7 hours a week for 10-13 weeks.

TWO - racing in Kona - relatively impossible for most of the 6Billion people on this planet. Winning it isn't even a discussion we can have here. The program (time commitment) and the amount of work needed to GET TO KONA is unfathomable to 99% of even trifuelers who DO KNOW what triathlon training involves.

Another way to put this is: anybody can learn to swim, enjoy swimming as a liesure activity and never miss out on a family event or a party or walking the dog, but if you want to play it at the ELITE Level ie. go to the Olympics, which is what Kona is equivalent to at IM level - there is no life outside your training

If you want to compete with the world's best, at Kona or at Beijing, next year, you do not have a life outside your sport training. Swimmers train 4 hours a day and recover the rest of the time. Olympic boxers, train, eat, sleep - that's it. And so it is with ALL Olympic athletes and so it is with anyone who gets to KONA, like Bryan,

BUT just doing an Ironman , even doing it pretty well, doesn't need to take up your entire life. Just ask me.

Once again, congratulations Bryan, and best of luck in Hawaii. May Pélé smile on you.

PoC

Wow, I am touched and deeply gratefull to all of you. It means more than you know to me. I'd like to respond to a few specifc comments.
BBB- I know you too have felt my pain ;)
Tikal Dog: with that kind of positive mojo, I can't go wrong!
RV- Preach it brother!
Kylie- I would love to meet you and your partner, we need to exchange contact info.
TriOnLife- Funny analogy as I am an Investment Advisor!
mdittfurth- Hearing something like that just moved all my experience up a notch. If what I have gone through has helped others, I can't ask for anything more.
Star- Your absolutley right, without seeing the Dark we can never appreciate the Light.
kkocan- Indeed, it is a confession and not a justification either. I don't want absolution, I must pay my pennance and move and be better. My other motivation to share this was I was concerened that too many of my posts are training and IM related and might give the wrong impression that all was wonderful and look how fast I am! I wanted to have a record of the opposite of the thrill of victory, not the agony of defeat but the consequences of victory.
PoC- Yeah, trying to race in IM with a Kona time is a step up in training volume and the costs increase as well. Again, I wanted there to be a vetting of both sides of this quest for me.
JohnieTri- She is proud of me, my Mom is just about to burst! If I have given my mother a gift, that means very much...my wife will just need more tangible gifts as you correctly point out!! ;)

Again, I am honored to have you all as my virtual triathlon fellow athletes. I will think of you all often..... while I'm running in the ENERGY LAB!

Have to disagree with you here PoC. Kona you can qualify in your age group,Olympics you qualify against everyone. It's a totally different ball game. Going to the Olympics is more like going to Kona to compete with the Elites. Not to downplay the commitment required by any means, but I've known several people who have been to Kona, some multiple times, and none of them have had "no life outside your training.". Most of them have had kids, work, and balance in their lives. It's a tough road for sure, and requires dedication and commitment, but it does not require a complete overturning of your life to this one goal.

It's certainly not the same as getting to the Olympics (there are only three spots and you're trying to qualify against a much large field. And it happens 1/4 as often so you have 1/4 of the chances). But perhaps its equivalent to making the Olympic qualifier. No point in debating too much on that topic since Kona is its own event and qualifying doesn't need to be "equal" to any other achievement.

Oh, please don't get me wrong, I completely agree that many people race Ironman and even qualify for Kona without destroying their lives. I didn't destroy mine, but I can see how it can be done! This is all just my musing on my journey, which I think may have been somewhate unique. I went from my first triathlon to racing in Kona in 17 months as a 38 year old age grouper. I'm sure it's been done before, but not too often. I never understood all the cosequences I would be forced to deal with and I think my coach looked at this as an incredible experiment into how far could someone with no experince be pushed into the forefront of the sport.
I also agree that an Olympic team member is the pinnacle of sports.

For someone who aspires to do an Ironman one day, these posts are inspiring and thought-provoking. Bryan, don't beat yourself up too badly over what you have given up. For those of us who simply cannot rest until we accomplish certain things in our life, those around us who love us understand this and know that we would be miserable wondering "what if" for the rest of our lives. Not to mention that the process of preparing and completing these events makes us even better people in the long run. Take care and best of luck!!!

Thank you. i think i am ready to really enjoy this now. :)

I thought you were younger - but you're still young! It is kind of funny that I picked the 401K analogy - it was definitely inadvertent.

Chris Lieto is a local in this area so he makes the papers for the 'lifestyle' section and such. Even he was saying that his wife gets annoyed with all of the hours he spends training and that's all he does! So yeah - the family just has to endure, so to speak.

I'm sure it will all be worth it. I also think of your Mom who must be so very proud of you and honored by your efforts. Your Mom is a huge inspiration and a tribute to the value of struggle. You qualifying for Kona at your first IM is a tribute to your Mom. So it all works out, right?

Bryan, Nice post. Congrats on making it to the big show.

Congrats to everyone else that is going too

Yeah, I'm racing #658 45-49. So send me some of that Trifuel karma on race day. I have a feeling we are in for a rough one this year; )

I just exchanged cell # with Byran. Lava Java is a great place to meet up some time race week. We arriving on the 6th. Bryan says he is getting in on the 10th. We could plan on the 11th some time. The big rest day...

I would have been upset by her comment too - maybe she could have expressed it differently, but you can't fault her for saying something if she really feels like excessive training is taking you away from her. Perhaps her complaint is legitimate?

Like someone else said, this sport CAN turn into a very selfish pursuit if we allow it...

Yeah, I'm sure you could, but could you handle his ADD, OCD, commentary while you raced?

How about a 10k race while carrying a sheet of drywall?

PoC