Ironman Arizona Vs Josh
Winner: Josh

Well I say that but the Ironman really took a liking to beating mercilessly on me for the entire time.

For me it all started when I flew into Phoenix. The weekend really defined itself when we were going to land and it looked like a game of galatica where the aircraft was trying to hit a moving target. The wind was blowing so hard it really set the tone. I remember saying to myself ok mother nature go ahead and get it out of your system now so we don’t have this crap on Sunday. Well she didn’t, she just saved up for Sunday…

Well the entire time leading up to the race was great. I got to meet up with BBB and Red before the race. They are both great guys and are just cool to be around. I finally got the make on Red’s bike so if any one wants to sabotage it later email me  seriously for me to in-fact catch him I would have to not flatten the wheels I would have had to take the wheels all together.

Anyways it all started at 415 on Sunday morning. I got my wife and mom up and moving and we drove to the race site. Well I kept telling myself this whole weekend don’t be nervous be happy. So I stayed in a happy excited mood the entire time. Now I don’t know if this helped or hurt me I think I should have been a little scared…

So the seconds turned into minutes and those turned into hours. The race was going to begin and I double and triple checked EVERYTHING. I hop in the water at 0645 or so. I make my way to the middle of the pack and rested on the ledge waiting for race start. Sitting there waiting to start I thought to myself “Josh have you checked your goggles to make sure they hold water?” the answer was NO. So I swim about 10 meters head down the entire time and all is good. I slip the goggles back off, well this is where I had a problem the strap came off now. I start freaking out with less then 2 min left to fix my stuff.

So the cannon goes off and not wanting to get kicked, hit, and everything else I slide my goggles on only 75% fixed. This was a mistake. I did the entire 2.4 mile swim with a closed right eye because it kept filling with water every 100 meters. I tried over and over again to get them fixed but to no avail. I have to say other then that it was a good swim. I didn’t get too much of a beating until I got to the turn around. I took a couple of shots at the turn around buoy but I can’t complain. I finally made it to the steps to get out of the water and they were a LOT harder to get in and out then I remember. Some one lifted me out and just like that J was out of the water in a 1:22 time. Not too bad considering I was hoping for a sub 1:30 and would have gotten a 1:15 had it not been for the damn goggle issue. The whole day I kept saying to myself a famous mantra that Deena Kastor used in a Boston Marathon “Today, Define Yourself.” And that is what I was gonna do I was gonna define myself.

Onto t1 the wetsuit strippers were cool people you wanna talk about organized they have it together. ‘Arms out’ ‘bend over’ ‘on your @55 feet up’ and in 10 seconds no more wet suit. I grab my T1 bag and into the changing tent. I was jogging the whole time then I remember “Josh you still have a long way left to go”. So I started walking… I got in the t1 tent and I slacked my way through getting dressed. You know how I said I double and triple checked everything. I should have done a quad check because I forgot my towel . Everything else was there I got on my Snicker gear, gels, e-caps and everything else and off I went to the sunscreen dude. Once I had that on I ran to the bike. Well let’s just not talk about Josh’s T1 time cuz I don’t care LOL…

When I got to the bike I turned the GPS watch on and it started aligning. I made my way to the mount line and had to wait another couple seconds for it to start picking everything up. So now I am on the bike pretty happy and doing good. I saw a lot of really cool and helpful voly’s. Those people are great and help so much I really liked the support they gave it was priceless. One of the aid stations I couldn’t help but notice they were dressed in superhero outfits, one was superman another batman and so on… While I was on the bike though I did notice to myself and I kept thinking hey it’s pretty still out here on this ride. Now the funny thing is I didn’t think as I was doing 20+mph that ‘still is bad’ since you should have at least 20mph of wind in your face.

Well it’s a 3 loop course and at mile 19 or so I hit the turn around point. All of a sudden on the downhill I realize while it felt too easy so far. That wind was now in my face. I came to find out later there was 50mph gusts and about 25mph constant. So I sucked it up and kept tucking in crying most of the way. At least I wasn’t as unlucky as some I had no mechanical problems and I didn’t get blown off of my bike.

Well I had to stop to go pee twice (sorry I don’t like going on the bike.) The first time at mile 50 something wasn’t bad no line hopped in and out in 3-4 minutes. The next time at mile 80 something there was a bit of a line and something to almost brighten my day. I saw this chick about my age cursing up a storm “this is the dumbest F$#KING way to spend money” “there has got to be better hobbies”. So I said to here in my uber sarcastic smartass tone well all you have left is a nice easy 26 mile cool down. I got her to crack a smile for a second before replying “I AM WALKING EVERY SINGLE STEP OF THAT B1TCH WATCH ME!!!!” So off I go back on the bike again. I get to see my wife and family again for the third time and that is a nice upper for me. By the third lap I had the fever and the only cure for that fever was more cowbell which the wife happily supplied...

Well after 112 miles Josh was done with the bike and wasn’t ever more excited in his life to see the dismount line. My bike time was a meager 6:45 which I am not happy with but oh well. So I hand the bike off to the first voly I see in T2 and jog over to my transition bag then back in the tent. The mood was kind dark in the changing tent. We were all hurting and tired. I try to joke around a bit and I get an AF cadet laughing pretty good. Well again Josh wasn’t looking for a good T2 time so we are gonna skip on what that was.

Hitting the road I did notice one thing the wind started to slow down. Of course this got a big middle finger from me with a loud “WTF is going on.” The wind couldn’t stop while I am on the bike but died on the run. I was feeling pretty good on the run until about mile 8 this is when I started to feel down. On the run I cashed in every single card I could pull for aid I got water, Gatorade, coke, chicken broth, and sour patch kids from my special needs bag . EVERYTHING JOSH AT IT ALL!!!

Starting to feel a little low only at mile 8 kinda took a big mental hit for me. At mile 14 I hit the wall, when I say hit the wall I mean head down full speed into a brick wall. I was hurtin at this point the tank was on E and this is when I was struggling. I met up with the super nice lady I met earlier in the week and she pulled me through. I don’t know how I would have done it with out her. Well Cathy and I had a nice conversation that lasted most of the run. Unfortunately she was still one lap behind me so it wouldn’t last the whole way.

I tell her at mile 22 I am going for broke, and I am putting all my chips in the pot and going to go as hard as I can. Well I found out after 1 mile that was a DUMB idea. I died completely at mile 23. I was reduced to stumbling around having a hard time even walking. I am glad no medical staff saw me or I might have been pulled off the course because I was that bad. Well my time goal was way out the window and I just wanted to finish. I crossed the bridge and could here Mike Riely’s voice. With about 100 meters before the finishers shoot where specators could see me I did my best at looking like I was running. I made it through the finish line in a total time of 14:29:21

I made it through the finish line and found out first hand why the finish line volunteers are called “catchers”. If they had not been there I would have gone all the way to the ground. I was a hurting hombre and took in soooooo much water it would have killed a normal person. I did the fingernail test and my fingers stayed white the whole time. Well I found my wife and family and they gave me huge hugs. I was never more happy and proud to be wearing that medal knowing I did it and I was with the ones I loved.

Now I am no longer an IronVirgin on April 15th 2007 I defined myself as an Ironman.