there's super crazy legs elliptical spinner guy (he looks quite pedestrian until he gets on the elliptical and spins at 220rpm forward and backward for 60 mins each...[i can't tell if he's that good or has some sort of negative resistance button on the machine!]

there's midlife crisis/highschool social/gym rat (two varieties: male & female, 50 yrs old, has the newest running shoes, chit chats with everyone and seems to be there ANY time you show up)

and, what pool would be complete without...tatooed, thong-wearing, yoga-on-the-pool-deck, 60+ yr old guy (here's looking at you, kid! nice downward facing dog!)

god bless 'em, they make indoor training enjoyable!

At the Y in my former town there was a guy who was a regular only on Saturday mornings. He wore blue shoes, blue socks (pulled up), a blue tank, and blue running shorts that were at least 2 sizes too small. He was as hairy as a human can be. There is no proper way to describe his stench. The Seinfeld car episode comes to mind. It basically took on a life of its own and actually grew in strength as time went on. This guy would clear out an entire section of the weight room in seconds and when he left it would not clear up for at least 5 minutes. It was actually enjoyable to watch people who were unfamiliar with him get close or use a machine he had just been on. When he lifted weights he would actually bark with each rep.

There were also two guys who only bench pressed. No other exercises. They were strong as hell but they cheated as much as possible; arched backs, towels on the chest, bouncing the weights, grip as wide as possible. Whenever they would spot the other and lift the bar they would scream "meep".

My new Y is way too normal except for the employees. I have never seen so many overweight and out of shape people working at a health facility.

At my old yoga class there was the Bad Om Guy. When everyone was chanting Om together in that lovely resonant way, he would start in, way off key, very LOUD. It totally ruined the Om moment every time, LOL.

Uh-oh I think it might be ME!

I train for tri's so variety is the spice of life. I know the spinning people, the lifeguards, the weight-belt-dudes, I have been seen as the only guy in the yoga classes, I've been known to shoot hoops, and spend some time on the treadmill ... once in a while when I need a good workout I run the 30 min to the gym then swim then run home ...

I am getting dangerously close to being the guy who wears the "too-old" gym shorts (don't worry they are plenty baggy) and running shoes.

However, I love the fact that i am not the crazy-legs-eliptical-spinner-guy that tri-ac brought up. THAT guys is something else, I am glad I saw him on that thing before I tried it!!

The gym at my university has plenty of characters. You have the kids who think they know what they are doing, so they'll do a set on the bench, sit/wait 15minutes and then do another set. Then you have the guys who go there with cut off high school football or wrestling shirts and in between sets they'll look at themselves in the mirror. You also have the kids who are totally out of place and show up in collared shirts and pants. This is just the guys!

We have the girls who ellipticize and go at about 10rpm. There's also the sorority girl, who often arrives in a pack, wearing a KD or ZTA pink spring fling tshirt, complete with pearls and ipod. They usually rock the sorority muscles machines (hip abductor, hip adductor). These are also the girls who will go for a group run but each and every one of them will be listening to their ipod!?!

My gym had a huge surge in the past week, since a week in the gym will obviously get you set for spring break...

Where do I begin.....

space suit lady: this here woman wears a suit made of almost-reflective silver material. She's of latin or south american decent, probably in her late 40's- early 50's and she spends all of her time on the stairmaster at an incredibly slow speed. I'm convinced here purpose in life is to enlighten everyone to the awesome that is her silver space suit.

buff woman: This lady also spends much time on the stairmaster, but she does it on level 20 and she goes for 1 hour, everyday. She has been known to wear leg weights, all the time, even during her marathon stairmaster sessions. She does a very good job of putting the men to shame in the curl department. Usually doing about 75 pounds. I'm lucky if I can do 50 without breaking something.

constant agony man: There fellow might be my favorite. Regardless the exercise, the weight, or the number of reps, constant agony man is always giving 110%. He's not doing excessively huge weight, in fact most of his exercises I can match pretty easily. Whether it's the leg press, the lat pull down, or the chest fly, he looks as though he's gonna rip a quad, tear a rotator cuff or blow a gasket. He gives that face like he's lifting a car of a small child. It's as though he's saving the world with that last rep. Way to go constant agony man, never give up, never give less than 110%.

I'll spare you the rest....

Don't you mean Time Trial Hip Strength machines? Actually I always save that one for last so I can leave as soon as I get the weird stares for being the only one not in Tri-Delt to use that machine. The things we suffer through to be fast....

So about the gym at UF...we have Japanese leotard man at our gym. He's not very strong, he just walks around in a black-and-white striped leotard. I don't think he even goes to school here.

Small town Y = big time weirdo's.

Pool. I am literally the only lap swimmer. I think I've seen two others in 1 year just once or twice, that's it. There's a gaggle of retired lady's that bob up and down and do a form of Tai-Chi/aquarobics in the shallow end to make waves. We have, as most pools seem to have, an underwater guy that swims a few laps underwater then leaves.

On the cardio my favorite are the lurkers. They are the ones that come in when it is busy and watch you to see if you are going over your time allowance when there are people waiting. They will then kick you off the treadmill the instant your time is up then walk for about 3-4 minutes then leave. There's a spinning class that I don't really take anymore but there always seems to be one or two people each week that want to just try it out and take up a bike but quit 10 minutes in. We also have a frantic lady that does elipticals at full speed with her head bent over looking at her feet and her elbows up like chicken wings, there's a real short guy that gets on the spinning bikes at lunch time and gets in the aero position but lifts his rear off the seat and does a modified standing climb at 30rpms for 20 minutes straight.

I stay away from the weightroom but every other day or so someone from there will venture up to the cardio and do 4-5 minutes all out on the recumbent bike. Their faces turn beet red, every vein pops out and they look like they are gonna have a stroke any second.

Scenes from my Y: Middle-aged hippie lady in velvet sweatsuit who does 30 minutes of what can only be described as goose-steps on the treadmill, in Birkenstocks, while swigging from a carton of orange juice. Classic.

Yeah, I think I'm the only guy to actually use those machines. It's best to go early morning to avoid the lines. Aside from the bench, the "TT Hip Strength/Sorority muscle" machines are always busy.

There's also the naturally occuring phenomenon of the very slow, middle-aged, Asian breast stroker in every lane of the university pool.

This is an awesome Friday Laugh post!

Triathlon Granny is around 80 years old and she'll let you know it. She swims some funky self-concocted stroke up and down the long course. She'll tell you how many tri's she's done, how long it took her to finish and that she was the last person on the course. She'll tell you this everytime you meet her at the end of your lane or in the locker room because she can't remember that she told you last week. Don't get in a lane with her or you'll spend your hour talking about spin class.

Richard Simmons (aka: zero-social skills man) is at the local park (I hope this counts). He doesn't have Richard's funky hair, but he talks exactly like him...non-stop. He is in his early 60's and complains when its cold, but won't wear anything other than shorts. He competes with some other retired dude in the area in local 5 to 15k races and will give the details of each race against him. He'll latch onto your bike or run without asking and talk...no yell at you the entire way. He doesn't listen to a word you say and talks over you, so don't even bother talking back (I usually leave my headphones on if I have them with me). He remembers that I'm training for IM and tells everyone that comes into the parking lot while I'm there....but he can never remember when the race actually is. He has told me that I run too slow and that I should be fast...like him. His license plate is of the local college and says "Run" but he has no connection to the college or their running program. He knows everyone at the park....and everyone avoids him with the same enthusiasm.

That is classic!

This is a great thread, but I'm surprised no one has mentioned "20-year-old chick on cell phone while pedalling recumbent stationary bike at 40 rpm for 15 minutes!"

Or what about "personal trainer with client doing WEIRD exercises with balls, mats, platforms, bands, etc?" Sure, they'll get you in shape, but why do they have to make you look so strange doing it? It's not like they're prepping for the NFL combine...

Or how about "20-yr-old chick who lifts the minimum weight for five straight minutes on each of the leg machines" - while talking on cell phone.

Or what about "sorta-buff-but-not-really guy who's doing every cable pulley exercise known to man."

I've also observed, like some of you, that I'm the only male around here who uses the "TT hip strengthener/sorority girl machine."

And who can forget the guy that's there Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoon swimming for an hour, Tuesday and Thursday afternoon running for an hour on the treadmll or outside with the lunch running club, on the treadmill or spiinning bike for at minimum an hour most nights of the week or that does an hour on the spinning bike before the spinning class then uses the class to breakup the monotony of the bike in prep for another hour after the class but doesn't actually participate in all the goofy drills duing the class....oh sh*t that's me, and probably a lot of us.

I'll be if there was a form for the casualy gym rats that just want to lose 5lbs or look good in a bathing suit they'd all be ripping on us right now.

Whoa..gotta throw a penalty flag. Michellie Jones just won Kona at age 37. I was feeling like a youngster in this sport at age 34. Now I'm thinking about an AARP membership and that earlybird blue plate special at Bob Evans.

Who are you calling middle-aged, my friend!?!?!?!? Glad that us thirty-something geezers are an inspiration to ya! ;)

I love Bob Evans, a bowl of gravy with biscuits at 4:30 in the afternoon, now that's heaven. Good thing they don't have them around here or I'd have to be in the gym alot more. :D

haha, i saw a Funnel Man tonight.

The character I hate most: Hot girls that I can't hit on because girls don't want to be hit on at the gym and i try not to be "that guy" as much as possible.

Tamara:
"Who are you calling middle-aged, my friend!?!?!?!? Glad that us thirty-something geezers are an inspiration to ya! "

Whoa! 30 year old geezer? PULEEEEZE! Many of us here have had our best years after turning 40... ;)

As to the gym thing... Heavy Lifiting Shouting Man or Heavy Lifting High Pitched Screaming Girl. Usually starts low on the first rep then builds to a crescendo on the last! Usually with wrong form and way too much weight...
But there is one thing at the gym that really makes me angry...and I don't anger easily:
Mr.(or Ms.)"Certified" Perfect Chiseled Body Can't Be More Than 25 Personal Trainer who is teaching wrong technique and providing bad information to their client or who bad mouths the client after their client leaves. I hate em.
I know there are some folks here that are coaches and this is not against you...but we all have seen and know folks like this.

At my gym there's Mr Big Pecs 'roid dude. His pecs are doing the tango as you talk to him, and amazingly, he flexes them up and down in sync with his speech.

At the pool I try to finish before the old ladies start their water aerobics classes. I got caught late in the pool one day and they almost ravaged me like a school of ravenous pirhana! Oh, if they were only a hundred years younger......

So far this is the best Trifuel thread of 2007!

I really can't understand how people read anything while they're exercising. I can barely manage to watch the T.V.

haha brilliant post guys im lmao!

but what about mr one sided. he works that right arm with bicep curls, one armed bull ups, one armed rowing, one armed preeups, until he could lift a house with that one, but his other arm resembles a three year olds. then he challenges us to arm wrestles. cool guy!

haha, gotta hate locker rooms!

And also there is always someone there who seems to be "watching" you... not a good feeling

These are some jems, and I have a move now that everyone can do the next time the stability ball / stretching area of your gym is too crowded. This clears the area like nobody's business. I learned this by watching a 60+ year old man perform the routine. I was warming up on the bike - it faces the stretching area. I was sickly fascinated.

First: lay on your back.

Next: arch your back so your feet and head are the only parts touching the ground. It's better if you can get close to a mirror - makes it appear that there are more of you.

Third: begin thrusting pelvis into air. Rapidly. Return to starting position. Repeat.

Tips: wear 1970's running shorts that are really too short to wear in public. Make sudden random movements. This move can also be done standing. Again, it's better if you face the mirror.

The locker room is such a scary place! The first time I was swimming laps at the same time as the water aerobics class, the current they produced was pretty bad (though it's good training for those group starts). Anyway, nothing was worse then getting in the lr 5 minutes after their class was finished - EEEWWWWWW - Why is it the largest women wear the least clothing? They walk around with nothing but the towel on their head - then proceed to sit in front of the mirror - that's right - sit on these little plastic stools - and put on their makeup, do their hair, whatever:eek: It's a very scary place those locker rooms.....