1. Wetsuits fit differently in the water. What feels too tight on land may be just right when wet. If you can swim with both, give that a try before making your decision. Use bodyglide on your neck to prevent chafing there.

2. Use bodyglide or PAM spray on your ankles to aid in getting the suit off. It should go without saying (but I'll say it anyway), when you take the suit off be sure to roll it off your legs versus just pulling at it. The suit should be inside-out if you've taken it off correctly.

Thanks for the replies.

Suits bought online at Trisports. They do allow for a pool swim and return if necessary. It seems like trial and error is the base approach with this issue.
I didn't expect all of the nuances associated with tri's. I thought figuring out the training would be the hard part!

Also, sorry to all for the double post of the question- I received an error message the first time and didn't think it had registered.

Thanks to all for the great feedback.

I tried both suits in a pool. The small -medium let in a steady trickle of water at the arm holes, and was comfortable. The concern is how much water will get in during a 500m event?

The small let in only a tiny amount of water, though I'm still somewhat concerned about the tightness around the neck/throat. It did loosen up some in the water.

I'm going to roll the dice with the small on Sunday in a sprint (500m swim) and hope I guessed right and don't gradualy choke out while swimming! I think this will go down as a matter of adapting to the proper gear, just like it took a while to get broken in on a road bike.

The wetsuit saga concludes (I hope)

I decided to stick with the small, and brought it to a sprint I entered on 8/27. I'd get my answers then, right? Wrong!

When I showed up the inflatible buoys were deflated on the sidewalk near the sign up spot. Very rough ocean conditions resulted in a cancellation of the swim, and a duathlon instead. Good news for the runner in me, bad news in that I need to get past this step in the swim side.

Yesterday I went in the ocean with the small. The waves were too high to get much of a swim in, but the wetsuit felt fine (except I didn't fold the extra material under near the neck/zipper top and started to chaffe from the collar stitching-more learning process) The small is the correct size. The buoyancy is amazing. You can just about tread water with almost no effort. The medium-small(MS) gets shipped back today.

For the vets out there, this thread probably provided a good chuckle.

For fellow beginners in the swim, expect the proper tri wetsuit to feel completely unnatural. I was 100% sure it was incorrectly sized when I first recieved it and ended up sending it back to TriSports. (They then returned it with the MS so I could compare both.) I have a basic wetsuit for kayaking in cold water and the fit is much different. The QR sizing chart is correct. You really have to work on pulling the suit all the way up your legs and then upper body, and expect to get someone to help you get the zipper started. The restrictive feeling goes away when the suit is wet.
I'm entered in another sprint next this coming Sunday. I'm hoping the ocean flattens out and the swim is on.

Some wetsuits actually allow for a trimming around the neck if necessary. My Orca is that way, although I didn't need to trim it. I know what you are talking about on the neck though. At first it felt as though it was pushing on the front of my throat. I even asked a friend if it was making me talk funny. After a few swims in the water, I got over it.