Someone sent me this.
Funny but I will definitely check my trainer when I get home

Humor:
What is Your Reaction Time?
Steve Waytowich
4/18/2005

You see it all the time. People reacting to situations with cat like reflexes and graceful maneuvers. Some people inherently have this ability to quickly respond to what life dishes out. I do not.

Let me set the stage. I have recently started using an indoor bike trainer. For those who don't know this is a piece of equipment that you bolt a regular bike to a flywheel so you can ride your bike indoors. I have two, one that is stationary and one that is "portable". Ideally I would like to use the stationary trainer and set it up in front of the TV so that I could watch the news, sports, or the odd movie or two while blissfully riding away on my trainer. The problem is
my wife views this as an unsightly lump of metal that clutters up "her" living room. I have solved this problem by using the "portable" trainer and using the garage or laundry room depending on the weather and my wife's mood.

So. On Monday I was off because of Heritage Day (Canadian Holiday -- don't ask). My wife on the other hand, was not. Inside the trainer went. A quick 25km and a good sweat later, and it was left for another day. That day was yesterday. My wife uses this night to scrapbook, which involves finely cut pieces of paper arranged just so which are then glued around a picture resulting in a piece of heirloom art that can be passed down to another generation. Since a wind trainer generates "wind", said pieces of paper usually end up strewn around the room from one end to the other. This usually results in me moving more than my wind trainer into the garage.

So, after bathing our two girls, I setup in the garage for a 45 minute ride. I had my music, my water bottle, and my brand new clips and shoes. Off I went. Being clipped in is great. It gives maximum efficiency to almost any leg movement. Almost. About ten minutes into the ride I was into the Aero position and pedaling away in a higher gear. I had a good cadence going and the last time I looked at my Speedo it was registering 31km/hr. Then it happened. In my rush to get going I forgot to tighten the clamps all the way down.

My garage is 18 feet long. My stereo is at one end. I do not set up at the door because there is a draft. I usually set up about the middle. 9 feet. I don't know what the actual time to impact was, but I am sure someone with a math background could figure it out. Needless to say, I learned the following lessons:

1. Clip less Pedals are damn near impossible to get out of upside down.
2. A 180lb man riding an out of control bike has a poor chance to win a collision with a wall.
3. There are lock down nuts on "portable" trainers for a reason.
4. A bike traveling 31km/hr leaving a trainer will leave a noticeable skid mark on a concrete floor (similar to planes landing)
5. Drywall is harder than it looks.
6. Helmets should be used indoors.
7. It takes about 5 seconds to fully comprehend slamming violently into a wall while being clipped into a bike.

I hurt only my pride and actually reset and finished my ride.

So, the next time you get on your trainer, tighten your bolts, leave reaction room (the runway as I call it now), and do up your chin strap.

Steve Waytowich