I've noticed there have been ample race reports on Ironman Louisville. I've also noticed how impressive the reporters have performed. So, it seems only appropriate that there should be a little commentary from the perspective of a struggling, mediocre, 15-hour finisher. If anything, it might give a more accurate picture of what your novice or undertrained aspiring ironman can expect.

Pre-Swim: The mile (give or take) walk to the swim start consisted of my seven friends and me goofing off. One friend told the story of how he got drunk and tattooed his old college roommate's name on his ass. Other comments include: "It seems like so long ago that we signed up for this damn thing, yet so recently that I started training." "I guess I shouldn't have waited until this week to do my long bricks." "I'm gonna DNS"--"You mean DNF?"--"No, DNS: Did not survive." I guess you might consider the humor a coping mechanism to keep our minds off the hours and hours of suffering that would follow. Seemed that some around us enjoyed the light-heartedness, but then there were those who probably take themselves and the race too seriously to appreciate it.

Swim: We were pretty close to the front of the line and jumped in around 7:15am. I wouldn't see my friends for about 9 hours or so. I got beat up a little bit. At one instance I simultaneously took a punch from two different swimmer to each side of my face, giving the goggles quite a stir: Water came in, fog formed. Good thing the buoys were big and bright yellow, and there was little, if any, sun to mess with my vision. Problem was, the buoys did not stop coming. Everytime I thought I saw the last one, another one would pop into vision. And then another one. And another. Even worse, I was under the impression that we would swim under one bridge, with the swim exit not far past it. Wrong. There were two bridges, and the exit was past the second. But, besides these small mental struggles, I got through the swim with no real problems in 1:43ish. (I say "ish" because they screwed up my timing, so I have nothing official to go on.) No complaints on the time, as I'm a weak swimmer.

Also of note: The brand new white tri jersey I bought the day before the race had become light brown by the time I got out of the water. After it soaked in for 15 hours, the jersey wouldn't come clean. So, my advice to anyone not shooting for a kona slot is to take the extra minute to put on a jersey in T1.

Bike: The best wisdom anyone gave me was that the most important pieces of your ironman training puzzle are your long bike rides. I know this because my puzzle was missing those pieces and I paid dearly for it. Since my long bike training consisted of a few 50-70 mile rides and one 82 mile ride, some of the following subjective commentary on the bike may need to be taken with a grain of salt. By all means, correct me if I am wrong; I don't intend to mislead those who are considering this race. Nonetheless, I will proceed: Lots of the "rollers" out there were longer gradual climbs. Not many were of the sort to give you enough momentum on the way down to help get you up the next one. It really was a hellish struggle. Spent a lot of time in my easiest gear (which had never even been used before). Whether it was my lack of bike training, or the loss of sweat, I cramped up a lot. The second half of the ride consisted of a few minute or so breaks, during which I did a bit of stretching and extra hydrating. I wasn't the only one. Seemed like bikers were dropping like flies. Some seemed to have thrown their bikes down to go sulk, while other's had placed their bikes nicely against a fence and gone to lounge for a bit underneath trees. They seemed comfortable and it looked very tempting. Anyways, I got through it, thanks mostly to the last 15 or 20 miles which were mostly flat and downhill. Without having that hour or so to ease myself back to T2, my bike time would have been even longer, and my legs would have been destroyed for the run. Another positive about the course was the scenery. Had I not been suffering for most of the ride, I may have enjoyed it more. But there definitely was a lot to see. The roads were mostly smooth too. Final time: something like 7:20. Was hoping for 7 hours, but I attribute that to overestimating my preparedness and underestimating the toughness (my subjective evaluation) of the course.

Run: As far as the course goes, I wasn't real impressed. I imagine the course would have been different, had it not been a big game day at the university. For the sake of future participants, I hope they are able to change it so you can actually see some of the sights. Except for that first mile or so in the immediate downtown area and the on the bridge, there was next to nothing to look at, and some of the neighborhoods we ran through were somewhat questionable. Most importantly, there wasn't much of an abundance of spectators, which I think are the meat and potatoes of a good triathlon run course. One good aspect of the out-and-back nature of the course was that I was able to see my friends numerous times and even stop for an occasional chat or exchange of words of encouragement. I saw my parents a couple times. I even gave my mom a sweaty hug. As far as my performance goes, I did as expected: Death trot in between aid stations, at each of which I would take my sweet time eating, drinking, sponging off, and thanking the volunteers. This roughly 11-13 minute mile pace kept up for about 15 or 18 miles, at which point the occasional minute or two of power walking was added to the repertoire. The heat and sun only affected me for the first 6 or so miles of the run. This is because the latter portion of the out-and-back was shaded, and becaused by the time I got back the sun was close to setting. Also, the course was mostly flat, which made it easier to comfortably keep a running (or what slightly resembled running) pace. Anyways, I finished the marathon around 5:45.

Approaching the finish line, I was treated like a rock star. Hundreds of people lined up even before the actual chute started, leaving just enough room for one person to run through. Hands were out for high fives, all eyes seemed to be on me, all cheers directed at me. Perhaps it was because I was lucky enough to finish without much traffic around me. But I've spectated at an Ironman finish, and I know every finisher gets the star treatment. It's been mentioned that you don't hear them say your name and call you an ironman. It's true. The finish was somewhat less emotionally climactic than I had always imagined. But I was a broken man by this point, and I doubt my mind and body were fully able to properly process and situation and react to it.

Final Time: 15:01 (checked the time on my finisher picture, figured out how long ater 7am I started, and did the math.) I'm happy with it. Thought best case scenario would be 14 hours, but 15 is about right. Next time I'll train just a little harder.

Post race: walked the 15 feet from the finish line to TGIF's, where most of my friends who had already finished were, and enjoyed a nice beer and bacon cheeseburger.

Thanks for reading!