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Kinda long: I think I'm burning out...sharing my pity party

ht001's picture
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started by ht001 on August 10, 2008

Preface: Sorry for being a sap in this post. I just have to get this out, and even if no one reads this, something about putting it out there lets me feel like I'm getting it out of my head....so I just had to do it.

Contrary to so many posts on this forum, including my own contributions, that extol the virtues and rewards of our fine sport, this thread has some negative energy in it. I'm still in love with this fine combination of swimming, biking and running, but which right now I'm having a big knock-down-drag-out style fight with it. I'm finding myself seriously considering taking a break from racing. But really, what gives....?

I've been racing with varying degrees of focus for 7 years now. I continue to improve my overall times although in some races one or two of the disciplines seems to suffer a bit. I've had consistent top ten AG finishes for the last 5 years at all distances here in the Denver/Boulder area. Today while I was running in an HIM event, starting to feel crappy, and seeing what was at least an 8th place AG spot slip by as some of my fellow AGers passed me I got a down on myself. Then, when I saw my finish time for the event (which was 6 minutes faster than my last outing on this course/event 2 years ago - and which I should be pleased with) and looked at my splits, especially the run split, I was just annoyed at myself for not being able to hold the pace that I know I am capable of holding.

While I've made some strides on not comparing myself too much with others (like the article on the Trifuel homepage discusses) my issues is on comparing myself too much with myself. Just because I don't set a PR doesn't mean that I'm still not a worthy triathlete. I know this enough to verbalize it, but I'm not fooling anyone with that crap. Least of all myself.

Anyway, I hate to think that I'm on the brink of giving this up altogether. I really do like the training - the structure it brings to my daily life and the fitness it has afforded me - and I love the whole spectacle and production of race day. So I guess what this all boils down to is a case of burn out.

Maybe a year off the race course focused on being a volunteer at my favorite races could be a good thing. We'll see. I still have a couple more events on the books for the year, so I don't have to throw in the towel yet.

Ugh! Anyone been here, done this, and come back stronger? I'd ask for suggestions, but I fear that some people out there who shall remain nameless will suggest running ultras or some such craziness ..... :)

Anyway, thanks for "listening." Group therapy is over now!

UFTriGator's picture
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UFTriGator posted 1 year ago.

I've come in dead last more than once. That's just embarassing. I even got stopped by someone in customs in San Juan because they recognized me from a triathlon.....because I was so far in last place. I need to do smaller, easy races once in a while where I know I can do well to make myself feel better.

Boulder is probably the hardest city for racing in the whole country. Go do an easier race someplace else. Bringing home hardware makes everyone feel better. :)

______________________________________________
-Matt
Not fast enough.

Anton's picture
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Anton posted 1 year ago.

I think you should run some ultras!
Who hasn't felt like this, please raise your hand.
Just what I thought.... Believe it or not 7 years in a sport is a long time...there are so many people who jump in do some races and disappear never to be seen again.
Sometimes we need a break...do different things...experience something new. Sounds like YOU need a break.
The running rule is that it takes 7 to 10 years for someone to hit their peak, but many don't get that far, because they feel they are not getting the results they want.
Your results, are your results. Not everyone can be the best in their AG. But it's ok to be Grumpy about it...it's part of this sport from time to time.
This year I haven't done a single tri. Will next year...already bought and paid for. Am I still a triathlete?
Yup. Just backed off for a year to recharge batteries and try some new things.
Racing is not the be all and end all...Yes, it's a test that can lead you to other things, but it's not the place we are forged...that happens in training.
Branch out try some new stuff, Volunteer and give back...always a great thing to do, do ultras, bike racing, ultra cycling, Long distance swimming or do nothing but 5K's...if next year the spirit moves, jump in a tri or two...only you'll know when you are ready.
I going to pull an "old Guy" card here: In all the years I've done stuff and had to take a break for my sanity or was forced too...I always came back stronger.

"If e wishes to sweem in dangerous waters, oo are we to deny im?
-Chef Skinner
http://antonspath.blogspot.com

ht001's picture
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ht001 posted 1 year ago.

Anton wrote:
I think you should run some ultras!

LOL!! SEE!! Ha ha! That's good stuff. I LOVE Trifuel!!

For the record I was committed to keeping *those* among us anonymous....

kylie's picture
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kylie posted 1 year ago.

Yeah ultras helped me, too ;) Honestly. I think because it is just something a bit different and with much less of a focus on a time or place or technology, and more on the location and the experience of the race. And because it was something a bit different, and not the same old same old.

But rest can be fine -- even if it is from just racing, or racing and training. We do this for fun... so if you need a break, you know you need it and listen. We often talk about listening to our bodies for the physical, but the same applies to the mental aspects of it sometimes.

Miles of Life --- Powered by MarkyV

mdd's picture
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mdd posted 1 year ago.

Also consider just racing the events individually. Maybe hit some local TTs or find a good trail run, etc. Sometimes just breaking things up a bit will do wonders for your overall enthusiasm toward the sport as a whole.

One other thought is that since you have been racing for a reasonable amount of time maybe you just need to set up an aggressive long term plan with some challenging goals. Maybe you should try to qualify for AG Nationals or Worlds or something of that nature. I find that a challenging long term goal can help put everything else in perspective and make the short term stuff more enjoyable.

calilargeguy's picture
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calilargeguy posted 1 year ago.

Why not just going out and try having fun. We all seem so focused on "racing" that we forget that most of us got into this sport to have fun and try something new. I know i'm not racing anyone but myself and the clock most of the time, but i've felt burnt out as well after doing nothing but training for one event after another and then not achieving the goal i set for myself. I lost the fact that this was supposed to be a fun hobby, and it sounds like you lost the fun aspect of triathlon as well. See the thread about starting em young and look at the pics. They are having fun. Go on a ride without a heartrate monitor, or a cyclometer, and see what a difference it is.
Just my .02 though.

Ironmom's picture
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Ironmom posted 1 year ago.

Well, my two cents is to hire Coach Joy. She's the best coach I've ever had. She tells me to look out at the sparkling water drops flying from my hands on the lake when I'm swimming, and smell the blackberries growing alongside my favorite biking road. She reminds me that close friends of mine are no longer running on this earth and I still am. That no place in a race, no insistent bleeping of a heart rate monitor is worth a hill of beans if you're miserable.

I have a theory that anything done with joy gives you 200% of the benefits of the same action done without joy. So if triathlon training isn't bringing you joy right now, it's perfectly fine to try something else. Go sign up for a local cycling TT or a trail run or an open water swim. Go noodle around with friends on a sand volleyball court or a rock climb or whatever floats your boat. Taking time off will not hurt you if it rekindles your joy in your sport.

Hang in there, too. In sport as in life, there are highs and lows. Finding ways to work through the low points is all part of the journey. I'm starting my 23rd year in this sport of triathlon and have found over time that the best parts of it are not the podium finishes (though these are nice) or the PRs but the quiet moments of joy. I hope you can find your way back to that joy in this sport, either now through mental reassessment or later through a judicious recess and return.

Blue Skies, -Robin-
http://ironmom.blogspot.com/

jhudalla's picture
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jhudalla posted 1 year ago.

My suggestion is to put your energy into something completely seperate from triathlon. Focus on work, enjoy allll of your free time and plan a life-changer of a vacation. People have a tendancy to think that after so many years they've seen what life has to offer and perhaps believe they have become who they will become. I say, take the next 6 months and plan a 3-week vacation, doing something you only hear about other people doing and have no personal connection to anyone who has done it. I'll give you 2 examples:

A guy I used to work with recently took a vacation ( voyage imo ) and had what alcoholics refer to as, 'a moment of clarity' a life changing experience. Over a span of 3 weeks of toil, pain, frustration and in several cases, conflict and fear, he took a boat up the amazon river, climbed the mountain from which it originates, and returned with a new look in his eye and zest for life. Yeah. Pretty aweXome. He's a 32yr old computer guy. If he can do something like that, anyone can.

Person number 2 took a contract (something he probly wasn't completely prepared to do) to deliver a small(ish) boat from Minnesota, allllll the way down the mighty Mississippi and into the Gulf of Mexico, then continued on to Daytona beach FL.

Two experiences. Same underlying experience.

Weary is the path that does not challenge.

diva_mom's picture
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diva_mom posted 1 year ago.

What about the sport drew you to it in the first place? Is that gone? Or just on a shelf in the back of the closet? It's your free time - it should be fun to you. If it's not fun, there's no shame in finding something else that is.

Don't be so easy on yourself 'cause this one might be all that you have left

ht001's picture
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ht001 posted 1 year ago.

Thanks for all of your comments and thoughts - you've all got valuable perspectives.

I have indeed lost a bit of the fun and I think I may also have lost some of the challenge. Maybe the two are linked. I think there is more excitement and fun in working toward a challenge with all of its mysteries and unknowns. Which sort of gets at the point that mdd makes above. When you get over those and achieve the challenge the excitement and thrill are unparalleled. Not to mention when the challenges are new and huge we are probably more forgiving of ourselves.

I will definitely try to get in touch with Coach Joy. I imagine that it will take me a few attempts to actually link up and get connected with her.

I think some things I can start with is getting back to trail running. and maybe hiking (or running) more of our fabulous 14K foot peaks. Haven't done one of those since before 2006 because of triathlon...that's pathetic. And I think I will go to that Bikram yoga class that I've been interested in trying. I can also try mountain biking again. I suck at it, and have had some not so great injuries from it, but heck it will give me something else to think about (i.e. not falling down into that ravine to the left) outside of the time clock.

ht001's picture
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ht001 posted 1 year ago.

jhudalla wrote:
...plan a life-changer of a vacation. People have a tendancy to think that after so many years they've seen what life has to offer and perhaps believe they have become who they will become.

You are so right jhudalla. This is a great way to sum up how immersion in one facet of ones life can become blinding to other components that can also be incorporated into ones overall experience.

I love the life-changing vacation idea. Just researching what that might be sounds like a good way to spend some time!

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tri-ac posted 1 year ago.

try something else for a year...
don't volunteer, just get away!
learn bouldering/climbing or paddling, something else that is humbling and challenging
and then come back when you're fresh!

Anton's picture
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Anton posted 1 year ago.

In retrospect...my advice to run an Ultra was all wrong...
If I were still living in Colorado and burned out on tri's, I know where I'd be...
On the Diamond or Hallett's or in Eldorado on Rosey Crucifiction, T2 or the Naked Edge...Or over in the Black, climbing some Leonard Coyne horror show...
Or Bagging 14eers...
MAN! I miss the climbing in CO....

"If e wishes to sweem in dangerous waters, oo are we to deny im?
-Chef Skinner
http://antonspath.blogspot.com

gfd's picture
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gfd posted 1 year ago.

Take the entire winter off from serious training and become a ski bum. Strengthen your legs and have a blast at the same time. When the snow melts you might feel like getting competitive again or not. Mt. biking, hiking, rock climbing, volunteering, trail running, etc. are all possibilities for next spring.

I took 6 months off from running programs, watches, and logs years ago. Best thing I could have done for recharging my batteries and my body responded positively. Pre break - 0 Boston qualifying times in 6 tries. Post break - 6 BQ times in 8 marathons.

"If we help someone else up a steep hill, we get nearer to the top ourselves." ~Unknown~
~Garen~
http://baldhungariantriproject.blogspot.com/

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trigirltina2 posted 1 year ago.

Anton wrote:
I think you should run some ultras!
Who hasn't felt like this, please raise your hand.
Just what I thought.... Believe it or not 7 years in a sport is a long time...there are so many people who jump in do some races and disappear never to be seen again.
Sometimes we need a break...do different things...experience something new. Sounds like YOU need a break.
The running rule is that it takes 7 to 10 years for someone to hit their peak, but many don't get that far, because they feel they are not getting the results they want.
Your results, are your results. Not everyone can be the best in their AG. But it's ok to be Grumpy about it...it's part of this sport from time to time.
This year I haven't done a single tri. Will next year...already bought and paid for. Am I still a triathlete?
Yup. Just backed off for a year to recharge batteries and try some new things.
Racing is not the be all and end all...Yes, it's a test that can lead you to other things, but it's not the place we are forged...that happens in training.
Branch out try some new stuff, Volunteer and give back...always a great thing to do, do ultras, bike racing, ultra cycling, Long distance swimming or do nothing but 5K's...if next year the spirit moves, jump in a tri or two...only you'll know when you are ready.
I going to pull an "old Guy" card here: In all the years I've done stuff and had to take a break for my sanity or was forced too...I always came back stronger.

7 years! , so when I'm mid 40+ I can expect this?

Anton's picture
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Anton posted 1 year ago.

Nope...never expect anything.
Look...as I read once, "Specialization is for insects." If you go banging around in tri's, and that's all you do...yeah, after a while, you'll be on your way out the door. Doing different things keeps it fresh and new and not the same 'ol, same 'ol. I've met so many runners ,bikies, tri-heads that hammer away at their given sport only to get stale,injured,burned out. Being diverse means you'll be around longer.

"If e wishes to sweem in dangerous waters, oo are we to deny im?
-Chef Skinner
http://antonspath.blogspot.com

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Triguy98 posted 1 year ago.

I would definately look at different aspects of our sport. Like Xterra! Same collection of sprts, but a whole different ball game- and more fun! O adventure races? Mix things up a bit and enjoy it all.

Life is short. Play hard and get dirty doing it.

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beads1985 posted 1 year ago.

I agree with the general consensus. Switch it up a little, do some stuff for fun, Take off the watch, the HRM and don't worry about the numbers. Volunteering will give you a view that may get you kick started too.

In the big picture you have to remeber this is all about living a healthy sporting lifestyle. All your hardware will someday be in a box and your kids or grandkids will look at it, but being around to tell the the stories of those events is the real endurance event. Outliving many of those in your age group ;-)

'Nothing to it, but to do it!'

KevDaddy's picture
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KevDaddy posted 1 year ago.

No wisdom or advice from me here...

... I just am really enjoying this thread. Thanks everyone

Donna's picture
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Donna posted 1 year ago.

Me too. I've been struggling with the same problem. I feel like I really want t take time off too but the fear is that I will lose so much (fitness). But on the other hand, I've lost the important piece that this should be fun. Thanks for posting this, ht001. These responses have really helped me as well. I hope you find your mojo again....

Set goals...... but be here now. Enjoy the ride to the finish line.

ht001's picture
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ht001 posted 1 year ago.

So I've made a lot of progress even in the last couple of days and I'm committed to making rest a priority over the next year. I've also incorporated some changes into my workouts already, on the way to my last tri of the season on 9/14. Here are some of the things I've done, decided to do in the near future, or will be working on going forward. You'll all be glad to know that whenever I think about this stuff I think of you guys.

- Decided that for all training runs between now and 9/14 I will not use my HRM. Started that this morning on my 8 mile run to work. Holy cow! It was SO liberating to not have to worry about what my HR was doing, how fast I was going, or how much time had elapsed since I'd started. The only zone I was in was one of happiness that I was running along. (I think Coach Joy even ran with me for a few of those miles! (Thanks Ironmom))
- I will let myself skip some swims if I want to in favor of a little extra lounging around time when the alarm goes off in the morning.
- I'm going to do a trail race up in the mountains this fall. I have the fitness for it, and like you all have said it will help me to get away from all the technology and extra stuff that goes along with triathlon racing. Plus since I haven't done a trail race in over 5 years, I will have no expectation as to how I will do. YEA! I'm relieved already!
- I've started researching travel to Thailand. (thanks jhudalla!) I love thai food and have been learning to cook it, what better vacation than to go there and experience the food and the culture first hand.
- I've committed to NOT signing up for another Ironman for 2009. Had been debating about MOO, but clearly a move like that at this point would be plain loony. Let's save that until I know I'm in the right place....even if that's not until 2012...well assuming they still have open entry at that time....ha ha ha.
- Hitting the yoga studio again. It may take a while to get to a class regularly, but I'm going to keep it in the forefront of my mind.
- Reacquainting myself with a hobby of my youth - oil painting. I hadn't thought about doing that for so long and now that I need some diversions I'm going to get that going.
- Then, in winter I'm going to spend more time on the XC ski course and out snowshoeing and maybe even learn how to do a telemark turn and see if I can leave the bike trainer in the closet!

There you have it. I write that stuff partly as a means for me to have something to go back to and remind myself of what I'm doing. I sort of feel like I'm making resolutions or committing to recovering from addiction...I can see it now...."Hi Trifuelers, I am proud to say that haven't done threshold swim sets in over three weeks...." Or "I haven't ingested a single gel in over two months....."

Thanks for your support and advice!! With any luck I will get this perspective thing worked out and still do events successfully having achieved a different sort of balance.

kylie's picture
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kylie posted 1 year ago.

I love it! Great list :)

Miles of Life --- Powered by MarkyV

jtrimom's picture
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jtrimom posted 1 year ago.

good for you- sounds like you're in a twelve step program for overtrained overachievers- you're well on your way to normalcy (what does that feel like?)

Taper Naked

xman's picture
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xman posted 1 year ago.

Ironmom wrote:
Well, my two cents is to hire Coach Joy. She's the best coach I've ever had. She tells me to look out at the sparkling water drops flying from my hands on the lake when I'm swimming, and smell the blackberries growing alongside my favorite biking road. She reminds me that close friends of mine are no longer running on this earth and I still am. That no place in a race, no insistent bleeping of a heart rate monitor is worth a hill of beans if you're miserable.

I have a theory that anything done with joy gives you 200% of the benefits of the same action done without joy. So if triathlon training isn't bringing you joy right now, it's perfectly fine to try something else. Go sign up for a local cycling TT or a trail run or an open water swim. Go noodle around with friends on a sand volleyball court or a rock climb or whatever floats your boat. Taking time off will not hurt you if it rekindles your joy in your sport.

Hang in there, too. In sport as in life, there are highs and lows. Finding ways to work through the low points is all part of the journey. I'm starting my 23rd year in this sport of triathlon and have found over time that the best parts of it are not the podium finishes (though these are nice) or the PRs but the quiet moments of joy. I hope you can find your way back to that joy in this sport, either now through mental reassessment or later through a judicious recess and return.

Wow Ironmom,
You inspired me and I'm not even burned out..... :)

Donna's picture
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Donna posted 1 year ago.

Ironmom: I have read a number of your posts in the past and admired what you've had to say as I think the same way in a lot of respects. The coach joy post really solidified that opinion I have of you. I hope to be on a similar path as you after that many years in training (or should I say, after having that much life experience). Thanks!

Set goals...... but be here now. Enjoy the ride to the finish line.