Is it the compression or saddle sores? Different issues and treatments. And BTW, men go through the same thing . . . well, sorta:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/04/health/nutrition/04bike.html

mom - do a search in the forum...I raised this question a year or two back and got a lot of good feedback from other women. It's taken me four years to finally find the right saddles for my bikes. And by right I mean that are the right width, the appropriate amount of padding, and with the cutout in the right place for my anatomy. Most bike stores will let you "test ride" saddles and then return them.

A few other options, personally I find I get less pain, chafing, etc... if I only wear tri shorts. The thicker the padding, the more there is to rub against you. Also, think about shaving/waxing. Again, I've heard from a number of women that it cuts down on friction.

Finally, recognize that even doing everything "right", it is a sensitive area and will probably be a bit tender after 3 or 4 or 5 hours on the bike. It's something I've built in to my expectations of a long ride -- my quads hurt, I'm a bit sunburned, and I'm a touch tender down there.

So I hear you Mom. When I started road biking about 4 years ago, I thought to myself, "you've got to be kidding me, I'm gonna become infertile!" But the more you bike, your body/ area gets used to it and doesn't hurt nearly as much. Now I barely ever get sore after biking 40-50 miles multiple days in a row. You need to make sure though that you have good biking shorts, don't buy some just because they are on sale/ cheaper, etc, cause you will pay for it in soreness. Also, (sorry this is kind of graphic) but don't have alot of sex the day before you go biking. No marathon sex sessions. This will make it sore the minute you sit on your bike in mile 1. So that's my advice: 1. Get good bike shorts 2. Ride more to get used to it 3. Short sex sessions day before/ day of riding.
Happy riding!

Well for me , I only wear tri shorts. Bike shorts are too bulky down there and cause problems for me. Even for 100 + miles tri shorts are the way to go. You will get used to them. Also you may want to consider a different saddle.
I use the Terry Butterfly Tri . I went through 4 saddles training for my first IM and that is the one I finally settled on. I still am excited to get off the bike after 120 miles but I am ok with sex later :)
I also "lube up" down there with bag balm. There are various things you can use, but this works well for me especially for a swim/bike brick and on race day. It seems to stay with me and keeps me from any chafeing.

Finally, like Tamera said, no hair down there seems to help. Laser removal (from first hand experience) waxing or shaving will cut down on friction -ok no comments from the peanut gallery!

Well unfortunately you have to do the brazillian to get it all :( Laser removal does not hurt so bad (I have never done waxing other than facial) . Never had any issues, but it does seem to help , and hey your hubby/significant other will probably love you for it!

I'll just ditto everything here. I prefer tri shorts to more padded shorts, and the Terry Butterfly is the best saddle I found for long-distance comfort. I even put one on my around-town bike (and hope it never gets stolen!)

+1 for tri shorts over bike shorts. Also - I have a split saddle (Specialized) that I love. If you are not using a split saddle then get one! I've heard nothing but good things about the Terry Butterfly.

I'll second (or third or fourth whatever) the wearing tri shorts for all rides. I've been through a couple of saddles. On my tri bike is a Terry Damselfly and it seems to work for me. I have a Terry Zero on my roadie and its ok, but it flexes too much to be comfortable on rides >3 hours, but I don't do many rides longer than that so its ok. Squishy saddles = more pain.

Just an FYI to the ladies... Titling a thread, "for the ladies" isn't really going to keep the boys out... it might as well be titled, "look here, guys!"

Check with your LBS. Many let you buy or borrow, ride for a few days, and then bring back if it doesn't work. Another option is to borrow from friends. My husband and I have an extra saddle or two laying around, and we lend those to others to try out. Same thing...I didn't like the saddle my tri bike came with, and so borrowed from a fellow Trifueler. That saddle was ok, but not ideal. So I tested a Specialized TriTip from my LBS, and it was a winner. I use the Terry Butterfly on my road bike, and it's good too.

As for tri shorts, definitely nothing underneath. Some people use Bodyglide or Chamois butter, I've started using baby powder.

I actually bought and never bothered to return the saddles. I just have a broblem with returning things in general (yes a personal problem) if I use them even though I know I can.

No, nothing under. Like I mentioned, I use bag balm (in the green can) , its cheap and you will NEVER use the entire container. It will sustaing swim/ride and you will still be lubed up. And DO NOT LAUGH--- If by chance I have what Kylie said "like chapped lips" (no pun intended) I use A&D ointment--fixes it right up although if I remember the bag balm there is no problem. Usually that only happens if my tri shorts are all in the wash and I get stupid and wear bike shorts, or if its really hot out.

OMG I cannot believe I am saying this in public. COVER YOUR EYES GUYS!

A&D is a diaper rash cream. Since bike shorts look like pants with diapers in them I guess it makes sense! :-)

I've always compared riding in a saddle on a bike to riding a horse in a saddle. Now mind you totally different area's you're hitting but the more and more you ride the more it becomes natural. I had issues with my bike saddle as well when I first started and it's was just putting my saddle in different positions to find my comfort as well as shorts to ride in. Now, with horse saddles you'll see people get those huge fuzzy looking seats that cover where you sit and I refused. I just kept riding till my butt bones were one with the saddle. (lol)

where's that tatoo again? ;)

OMG GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!

I used A&D on my daughters when they were babies, and it was great on diaper rash.

I have a tube of it still in the medicine cabinet.
I use it whenever I chafe, especially somewhere sensitive.

The next day all is well.

Great recommendation Britt!!

http://www.amazon.com/Bag-Balm-10-oz-Tin/dp/B000S0L0NS

well, i don't talk about this alot but i shave the area. i laugh to myself when people talk about saddle sores... because i aint gonna say that i shave that area(in person,something about eye contact i guess) and i have not had a problem since i started it a year ago.
also, i have wondered why more talk is given to a cut saddle for woman. i will never ride another type again. it doesn't look comfortable but it is the best!

i can't answer that, well i can but it won't really help. that is about the stretching. i just do it and never cut, go figure, prolly been jinxed now!
never got ingrown hairs either and again thanks, probably jinxed!
as for lube, it's incredibly messy, well, hard to wash off the hands, but there is nothing better than desiten (the diaper stuff). plus it's medicated.
never tried anything else because it was not available to me except online .
but i haven't needed that either since shaving.

wait, i get it now, i'm a guy. im talking about the perinium area and you're talking about... that!

hey, this is personal but again without eye contact...
i had been diagnosed with internal and external hemorrhoids yrs ago. had some bleeding...
i went to my regular doc to get a referral to the "rear" expert, thinking all along i was just getting a referral.... anyway out of no where after a big conversation about our family, personal stuff... life.
he says well (and starts putting on the blue gloves) lets have a look at the area. i'm like wha,wha, what do i need to do. drop the shorts he says. i did(trying to move normally while wanting to find an ezcuse not to. all was good. but then it dawned on me as i drove away and laughing of course, that he HAD to be wondering why i shaved!!!
he's probably still wondering. and i don't think i will be able to look him in the eye next time!

i was just skimming this thread and you definitely DO NOT want tiger balm... unless you want to unleash a Lance Armstrong ride.
back to the shave... you could just use clippers using like the mustache length or whatever it is (very small) i think you don't need to be bald but just not have the hair tugged this way and that

I will add my agreement to:
-tri shorts not bike shorts
-a bit of lubrication
-the cutout saddle

I use a specialized body geometry (or whatever the bg stands for) with a cutout. Best $35 or so I ever spent. It's not light or anything, but I was getting mildly uncomfortable on the saddle that came with the bike, so I tried this one and it improved everything for me: I think I was sitting slightly awkwardly to reduce the pressure in various spots, so I would get a sore lower back and not be able to ride very well because of how my legs were situated. Once the saddle was right, everything else fell into place.

The other thing I don't think has been mentioned yet is saddle width. Women's sit bones are farther apart than men's, and if your weight is not being supported at all by the rear of the saddle (because of a too-narrow saddle), all of it goes on the more sensitive areas. Our LBS has one of those gel things that you sit on and leave impressions in it, which can give you the dimension. The combination of cutout + enough width (probably just +2 cm or so) at the back really seemed to do the trick for me.

just a funny update- I figured before I spend $75 + on a saddle, I would go the "trimming, shaving" route + bag balm- worked like a charm, thanks- then, I went for my well woman checkup, and my Dr., a man, while doing the whole pap smear thing says, "So I see we've done something DIFFERENT down here" How the H---does he KNOW that?!! He must see 100 a day- mine, once a YEAR!!!

haha....:)