I hear you man. Even though i'm 17, I try to balance my triathlon training with school, home work, part time job, wrestling practice, college applications, scholarship competitions. The ONLY time I can train is early in the morning.....

clones.

I am still working on it. but I ride the trainer a lot more than I should at ungodly times and try to sneak workouts in at lunchtime (babywipes comes in handy for aquick cleanup after a run BTW)

Well I'm in the same boat as you, and it's definately not easy. I am training for my first Ironman, CDA, in June and have a wife and 2 kids. I also have a more than full time job as a medical device rep, so I can't really train in the mornings as I am typically in a hospital. It all boils down to a very loving and supportive family. I am not the typical triathlete by any stretch, but everyone in my life is extremely proud of what I am trying to accomplish. Also my kids love going to the gym with dad. At 6 and 4 they like to play in the gym playroom while dad swims or runs. As for my rides i try to take them with me at least once a week. Yea it's not a fast training ride but hauling an extra 80lbs in a burly trailer does make it a workout. All i can say is keep your head down and promise the wife a nice vacation after you accomplish what you are trying to do. My wife is going to start training for an Ironman after I've completed mine, so I'll be on the sidelines cheering her on.
Good luck

I'm fairly new to the tri scene but I feel the same way- where does everyone that does triathlons find the time?! I have two young children, work part-time as a Forester and a very busy husband that works full time and is on the volunteer fire department, as well as every other volunteer service in town... so I too feel like I am 'sneaking out' when I get away... I just try to keep communications betweeen hubby and myself open because I do notice he gets frustrated that we're always passing each other in the doorway. I need his support first and foremost if I want to accomplish my goal of doing IM Canada in 2012... I too use the bike trailer/jogging stroller in the summer, and have learned to be very flexible, I used to prefer training in the morning but now I get it in whenever, wherever!! If I have to get a run in late at night, that's when I do it, or at lunch when my hubby come home, coercing friends into babysitting for us once a week so we can sneak out for a 'date night' at the pool... aka recovery swim night...

I have a friend that makes sure he takes time each week to take his kids out to do something just with them, to make sure they stay connected, I think he takes them out for Saturday morning breakfast, he says it helps alleviate the guilt that accumulates during the week from him being at work, training etc.

I suspect all us triathletes have the same issue in some form or another, all it boils down to is hoping your family can understand that being able to do this sport makes you a happier, healthier person, and that on race day they will be there cheering you on- lux SUV or not, because they are as much a part of this sport as your training. Best of luck with your juggling act!!

I am pretty lucky at the moment. I don't work, so have all the time in the world to train. That being said, I have juggled worked and trained (for 2 IM's), and my husband currently does as well --he finished his first IM last summer. We both race Tris and marathons. We plan vacations around some races to make it a bit more fun. He bike commutes 20 miles each way to work as a way to get his cycling in (pre-retirement I did the same) and runs at lunch. On days he swims, he does it in the evening when he gets home. Luckliy we have a endless pool, so this can be done virtually any time. Long rides/runs are done together on the weekends. It is fun to have a built in training partner(except sometimes on the bike--I HATE cycling and I get frustrated sometimes on long rides, because he is better than I am) and For my first IM when I wasnt running at lunch time, I was taking a quick nap on the couch provided at work. My employer was good enough to let me extend my lunch a bit a couple days a week to get a slightly longer run in. We both are (were) lucky enough to have showers/lockers at work which makes running at lunch easier.
If we end up with kids we have decided we will alternate races each year. I don't know how that will work, as I am so used to training on the weekends with him but that is a bridge to cross if and when it ever happens. It's nicer now, at least I have time to get all the laundry done-- work out clothes account for LOADS even with just the 2 of us.

My wife and I are into triathlon. Between work and training, there really isn't time for much else. On the weekends, we see each other in passing as we're heading out, and occasionally we run into each other out on the road while riding. But at the end of the day, we sit down at the table and have dinner together and trade stories from our day. My wife and I have a great relationship and I think for us that is the key.

It's funny this topic has come up because I just mentioned to her the other day how I haven't ever had the Ironman discussion with her. IMO, Ironman is a commitment that you AND your spouse are making and both should have a say in the decision. It can put a real strain on the relationship, especially if this spouse isn't into triathlon and doesn't know what is involved.

The keys for me for training and racing while balancing work/family life are:
1. Supportive wife
2. Training with intensity
3. Limiting myself to sprint/olympic distances
4. Jogging stroller
5. Gym with childcare for my swim training
6. Skimping on bike training
7. Being happy with middle-of-the-pack times and a happy family waiting for me at the finish line.

Truly an important topic-family always first....
I am a 34 year old mother of two very active kids-swimming, tae kwon, do, choir, and various school activities. My husband and I work full time. He gives me mornings (fortunately I am an early bird-4:30am) and I do afternoons. I go in to work at 7:00 so that I can be home when the kids get home from school. I ride my trainer all year round and only go out on the roads for long weekend rides. I am the master at sneaking in short quality runs during the week. Lunch hours, during kids swim lessons, right after an early morning swim. On the weekends I do my best to get the long runs and rides out of the way early and the rest of the time is devoted to kids and husband.
All said and done I could not do any of it with out my husband's support. I don't commit to any long race or heavy training season without the consent and commitment from my family.
To keep it fun, we often plan a get a way weekend whenever I have a long ride. We find a fun place to camp. I get up early to head out on a 100 mile ride, husband and kids meet me for a picnic and sag wagon me for awhile and then we enjoy a fun family weekend.
I truly love the sport and love that my family is so involved. I show my appreciation often and urge my husband to speak up if I am ever taking too much time away from us.
Good luck....communicate with your family to find what works for you.

married, 36, 3 yr old boy...my wife works (and works out) too, so i try to split responsibilities tho honestly she does most of the house management (bills, food)
i work +/-9hrs/day and commute by bike (only 3mi)
i get up at 5a to work out 5 days
i work out at lunches 3 days and eat while I work afterwards
long rides/runs occur on the weekend either early in the morning or during nap time (which is less reliable and frequent now...after a stretch of weeks of being tied to home for training simplicity, there's usually a rebellion to get away somewhere for at least a day together as a family.
i'm home for dinner at 6p and spend the early evening with my son before he goes to bed
after he's in bed, we sigh and slump on the couch and try to catch up on what we each did that day, or we may have some work to catch up on
lights out by 11p

it is difficult to maintain this schedule because it's so tight (not much room for flexibility)...there always ends up some important surprise that eliminates a workout...today it's a lunch meeting so I'm going to run home instead of biking, then go back after my son's in bed and pick up my stuff

races are planned as a family...i make special effort to be available to support my wife's independent activities and my son's

i think what i'm saying is I hear ya, grizzlytrout...do you best to carve out time for you AND equal time for your family

ohhhhhhhh...... that was kinda ugly. I HAVE though :(

As I read through the comments, it's clear that (despite our situational differences) everyone here has one thing in common - a draw to the challenge. You've undoubtedly heard someone say, "If it was easy, then everyone would be doing it." It's as simple as that.

For those of us with kids, a spouse, work, and miscellaneous other obligations, I think that "how?" is best answered in three parts:

1. planning - You have to have time allocated for all of your obligations. For most of us work is unavoidable, but family has to come before everything else. Without their support, your train will inevitably derail. Make your plans crystal clear and you will find that picking up additional hours here and there is much easier.

2. commitment - Demonstrate dedication. After all, the greatest reflection of success lies in convincing people that you're successful. Setting clear goals and executing a plan will show everyone involved that you're not just jumping on a passing bandwagon.

3. acceptance - Adding tri training to your daily juggling act is a choice. To be successful, accept the fact that you will probably be burning the candle at both ends. I'd say that at least 80% of my training happens after 8pm and before 7am. At 10+ hours a week, do the math.

As for myself, I have a VERY supportive wife, two kids (both under 2), 9+hour workdays, 3-4 solid hours of family time each night, and 10-14 hours of weekly training. In all honesty, if someone (outside of the forum) were to ask me how it all gets done, I would invariably answer, "I don't know ... it just does."

Was it just a paycheck? If it was just a check...better to be free and following a passion.
If your passion comes with a paycheck...all the better!
Good luck.
I am always impressed by you folks who get it all in. I stopped competing for 8 years to raise a daughter...she was a hand full. I ran, maybe twice a week, and lifted...but as to time and money to train...not possible.
Keep it up you guys...you give lie to those who say "I don't have enough time!"

Two kids... 3 years and 4 mos and a demanding job (School Principal).
I am picking my battles and trying to keep my goals more personal than external.
Right now, going for a HIM in April... Hope to finish respectably.

I haven't done the baby joggers. The early AM is your best option. I love the comment "no one misses you before 8 AM."

One piece of advice on what NOT to do... Don't compare yourself to the field in places like San Diego.

The pattern for success that I am seeing here seems to be VERY EARLY MORNINGS. My wife and I have not developed this trait ... yet. Maybe when we have a little one waking us up. In the meantime, I'll keep setting the alarm for EARLY and end up hitting SNOOZE.

My worst enemy is the one hour commute to work each way on the bus. Since I haven't found a safe bike route to work I have to pack my workouts into lunch runs and/or after work workouts. Weekday bikes are on the trainer after dark.

My wife DOES get frustrated when I try to make up workouts on the weekend b/c it looks like I'm neglecting other parts of family life. She works too and it's obviously not fair to make her do all of the house work, cooking, etc. while I'm riding my bike.

Maybe we triathletes in the USA should lobby for the 35 hour work week, like some of the Europeans get. After all, we have 3 disciplines to train for, which are all much more important than work ;-)

Like JohnieTri said above, it can be done but it needs balance and you need to put your priorities straight.
As a 35yo with two stepkids (12 and 9) and two kids of my own (2 and 6 months), and the youngest being born 4 weeks from IMWI last year I had my hands full. Especially with a pregnant wife all summer.
The key thing I found was to try to schedule big workouts (read long ones) and try to fit the shorter stuff in whenever I could. Since I get to get away for an hour each day for lunch I used it to run or swim. I could then get 2-3 shorter rides in each weeknight and a long ride and or run in on the weekend. But I really had to watch trying to beat myself up by getting mad whenever I missed a workout due to family things. For instance almost a month to the day before IMWI I had a long saturday ride and long sunday run scheduled until my dad showed up with a big ass swingset he bought for my daughter's birthday. It took me two full days to put it together and I skipped the ride and run, but I didn't get worked up as I knew what my priorities were.
Interestingly, I had told my wife that I would take a year or two off from Ironman and just do short races, but she didn't get to go to IMWI with me and once she saw the pictures and the webcast she caved and let me sign up for next year :) And since she's not pregnant this summer it will be easier to get more workouts in.
So, other than difficulty with the 6-7 hour long rides it wasn't and hasn't been too bad fitting time in for workouts. I figure with just the time spent each week during lunch hour and an hour a night training instead of watching TV or vegging out you can get in 8-10 hours easily.

Wow - you are all heroes to me! I was just commenting to my mom yesterday about how it's amazing that people with families can be such successful triathletes. She met some families when we were down at IMFL where both parents were racing and had 2-3 kids! I think the key is also the type of people triathletes are - we like to plan and stay busy. I know that I love scheduling and planning my days in advance. At the start of tri season, I sit down and plan out my training schedule for most of the year and I look forward to doing it. We're great at time management and it's a skill you develop as the years go by.

In the last couple of months of my training for IMFL, I was totally consumed by what time I had to get into work to get out early for my long runs (I like doing them on Thurs afternoons) or how many hours I had in the day to get in all my training. I can't imagine throwing kids into the mix! I do like longhair's approach with his kid's swim practices - I guess you have to be creative and flexible. I'm lucky that I have a supportive husband who understood the time investment I needed to train for IM and how tired I always was towards the end of IM training. Luckily he rides and runs too, and he always looked forward to our 100+ mile rides together. He's not a swimmer, but I swim early before work, so it never became an issue between us. He walks the dogs in the morning and I walk them when I get home b/c I get home earlier. Not the same responsibility as kids, but still something that's looming over you when you need to get a workout done in the afternoons!

So I guess it boils down to time management, your priorities, being flexible, having support from your sign. other, and remember to always have fun!